I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
His nipple licking is glorious
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