Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I need to align my fucking chakras
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