if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
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I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
After tacos, we're chasing women.