Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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