She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
