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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Houston, we have a squirter

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Get your penis over here NOW. emergency

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.

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• (339): View more from Massachusetts

  In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.

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