she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance