You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
