Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just invented taco cereal.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
