I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
