I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
