so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
