I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
