okay pat passed out under dana's car
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
