Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
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