i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
