I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
