It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
