if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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