the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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