He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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