you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
