My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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