just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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