I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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