I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
