Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
