your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We are two peas in an std pod
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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