I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
