The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
