she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize