i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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