i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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