I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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