some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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