Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
