you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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