My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
