Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
