Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
