I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
