I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
