Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
