She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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