So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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