god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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