I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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