batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
