ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
