new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I came so hard my ears popped.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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