doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
