I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
