Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
