I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
