i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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