Buhtt sex?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
