She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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