how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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