I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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