It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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