I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
