Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
