Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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