I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
