so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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