Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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